Tag: fathers day

man carrying a baby

In the Name of the Father

Joanne Dragun, M.D.

Having a father is a true blessing. Caring for so many during their own personal time of crisis, a sacred trust. This week demonstrated so many dynamics. Bill is blessed. His now small figure hidden in the hospital bed as his grown children hover, scribble notes, demand and take control. Emma sits and holds the hand of her 90 year old grandfather. I can tell she wants to keep him from this new and scarey experience. I remind her that he has been through so much and has more fortitude than frailty. Theo won’t be crushed by this cancer. “Doc, my wife died from cancer after we adopted three boys. They are just teenagers now and I need to be here to keep raising them.”

Some days in the clinic, the emotion of families is overwhelming. While I understand the role I have in being an oncologist on their team, I want to care for everyone of them as I would my own beloved Husband, Dad, Brothers- in -law, Son, Nephews and Friends who carry that badge and burden. A Dad is for life- for them and you.

And so, this Father’s Day, I salute these men of valor. They bear the burden and blessing of family on their broad shoulders. They never let cancer or illness interfere. They understand their role and should be honored for their service. God bless each and everyone of you. God bless those no longer here this year who were true and loving examples of family leaders and are missed so deeply. Know that all of us appreciate the work you do and many sacrifices you make to cherish those in your care. Let us all surround these men with our own love and thanksgiving in return. Happy Father’s Day.

A Father’s Day

Joanne Dragun, M.D.

When men come into the cancer center for care, I am acutely aware that this disease is derailing their life’s work. They wear many hats: father, husband, coach, provider, friend, son and care giver. The cancer victim hat doesn’t belong on their crown. Usually they don’t accept it easily. They are looking for a way out of the drama.

I have been privileged to treat thousands of fathers over the years and I understand their need to protect is strong. Jeff bounces his one year old son on his knee while we detail therapy for a new diagnosis. Benny another patient, whispers even though we are alone because he wants to impress upon me his need to keep his diagnosis of stage IV prostate cancer from his daughters and grandchildren. Carl is a big tough guy brought to his knees with a head and neck cancer but he never takes time from work because he needs to provide for his large (seven children) family. What they have in common with the thousands of fathers is that they want to deflect attention from themselves and harness power within to make this a winning battle.

I watch as these men leave their visit with me and walk down the hallway, straightening their cap, standing taller and putting a smile on their face to the family in the waiting room. The wife and children may have fear in their eyes, but the father is in control of the message.

I admire the fortitude. As their cancer physician, I understand the chaos they are facing- there is no room for this insult in their lives. But I know these men having stood up to a role of father or father figure will be fierce and unafraid. Fatherhood takes strength, leadership, calm demeanor, respect of children and respect for their mother. There is no room for selfishness even or especially when their own world is tilted. It is a unique, quiet, profound role for life.

I pledge to do my best to care for these amazing fathers. God Bless the men in your life who have filled that role. A prayer to those who passed, a phone call to those still here, a hug for those close will touch their hearts. Appreciate the father figures who have paved your path, pushed you to be strong, encouraged bravery, helped you to fulfill a dream, had vision for you and lifted you up. Celebrate the person you are because someone strong once held your tiny hand and believed everything was possible for you. They still do.