The Tom and hen turkeys proudly escort their three chicks past the exam room windows. Their strut signals assurance that they will not be hunted this week. Maybe just a drumstick or chicken is in order when we are scolded to stay away and view family and friends as accomplices in this covid drama. While news of vaccines excite the masses, the reality is that they don’t kick in for months and so holidays will be dramatically different this year.

For patients under treatment, there has been no travel to see friends, family, even grandchildren for nine long months. The loss of connection is physical, emotional and psychological. Some reminiscence, recalling Thanskgivings past with family around the table, football on the TV and the scent of cooking, all creating memories to hold near at times like this.

My mother laid a large festive table with extended family for over fifty years and we frankly took the tradition for granted. No one missed as we made our way to that cozy home in Philly. In a nearby town, we were lucky to also visit my husband’s home where again a large family convened  and sampled my mother-in-law’s famous apple pie. We will all miss our gatherings this week, but may I suggest holding onto one tradition from your past? For us it will be pie.

Surely we could forgo the calories The deliberate preparation, rolling dough, slicing and seasoning sending photos proudly to his sisters, (It is my husband baking it!) are a way to keep the bond strong and the feeling loving. I also enjoy gifting apple pies to my patients each year. Many cannot make a dinner and none will travel. The holidays are disrupted plenty with cancer therapy.  What surprises me about this small gesture is the impact. Harvey who lives alone, sat in the wheelchair holding the pie and cried, Janice and her husband were thrilled with the treat, Eleanor is alone now with family dispersed and she said how hard it was to be alone but the pie helped. Others thanked me long after Christmas season had passed- so moved were they by this gesture. Was it the store bought pie? Hardly.  It was recognizing the sacrifices they were making with their diagnosis and that we will all be making this year because of covid.

A pie cannot heal wounds, disappointments or illness. But the gesture of a kindness from you to another this season will touch their heart and create its own celebration. Be brave and reach out, thankful for your own abiity to bring holiday cheer to someone. Even a hand made ornament or a card will brighten a day.

Thank you to my pie- making mother and mother-in-law, both long passed, whose memory remains and reaches out to remind us that the doing is not busyness or effort. It is and always will be love, pure love. Happy Thanksgiving to my wonderful,  generous readers. The turkey may be smaller this year, the guests fewer and if the wine is gone, admit that you drank it all, but you can preserve the wonder of memories and just maybe create a new one.