Tag: Christmas with cancer

close up photography of snowman

Donner and Blitzen

Joanne Dragun, M.D.

”Thunder and Lightening” ….. quite a bit of it this weekend and week. When Clement Moore penned the beloved poem “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” December 23, 1823, He did so anonymously in a Troy, NY newspaper, since it was too frivolous for his professorship. He never suspected that 200 years later children would gather to hear or read the words, creating magic for another Christmas.
This week many patients are breathing a sigh of relief as they “Made it to the holiday”. Just when we think nothing is in our control, we are reminded that our personal strength lies deep within.
Sam wants nothing to do with cancer or the holiday. “ Doc, I’m old (93), everyone’s gone, I have no family and I am done”. I look him over carefully and draw on another classic, a Dickens character. “ Sam! You are a living breathing Ebenezer Scrooge! I am thrilled to meet you!” And there it is. Just “seeing” Sam brought forth such a twinkle in his eyes that he couldn’t hide the sly smile.
Sam doesn’t have anyone to transport him and since he is in the wheelchair no cab service will take him so, a shock to me, he rode down the street 2.5 miles (with a little flag on top) to the cancer center!
“You’re a tough guy Sam, so I know it’s not fear.” He shakes his head with the Yankee’s cap. “No Doc, I just need a reason. I used be be a good plumber, but I lost a leg, got a crippled spine and couldn’t work. Now you tell me I have cancer. What’s the point ? If I learned anything, it’s to always have a purpose. You are lucky you work.”

Again in room 1 I look past the shiny orb on the pet scan and in my differential diagnosis determine what this curmudgeon needs today. “Sam, if you don’t come to the clinic, then I don’t have a job, so do it for me”. The twinkle returns and I know I am smoozing him. Sam has one tumor but if it grows it will cause alot of pain which we can avoid, if he wishes. We certainly won’t extend his life at this point. Ultimately, and actually surprisingly, he decides that riding down the road to the center is just what he needs this Christmas week.
Sam lifts his head starts to look around at the festive holiday decorations in the hospital. We come up with a plan that as soon as the current storm Donner (thunder) and Blitzen (lightening) is through, he will return for care this week. Instead of the front door, he heads to the elevator to the cafeteria and as I sign the paperwork, I hear him wish everyone a Merry Christmas . The transformation of Scrooge is remarkable. It will be a delight to care for Sam this week. and as the holiday magic approaches, once again offering a Christmas wish: God Bless us everyone!

Sparkle

Joanne Dragun, M.D.

Ah the time of year when every street and town glows. Festival of lights are everywhere. Here in Jacksonville at the beach, there are decorated lifeguard stands instead of trees- all for a good cause and designed by young artists. It’s great fun to drive through if you don’t have the stamina to walk the park. Tina loves the holidays but coming in daily for radiation and weekly in the chemo chair is enough activity. “Doc, I just don’t know how to do Christmas now”.

Every year these sentiments appear and I encourage some effort to participate. Lights change the darkness, bringing excitement and energy. When you have neither, reach outside yourself just a little. My early morning jog brings me past a memory care home. My son has pointed out how very nearby it is… just in case. In the misty dark fog today I saw the twinkling lights of a mini tree in a window. What comfort and joy that must bring to the confusing and perhaps intimidating space.

The past two years have taught us all to simplify, but some traditions warm the heart and are more important than habit. Most of us are doing less, but you can still participate. Emma actually looks like a tree. “Doc, can I keep my lights on?” The headband from a dollar store and big bulb necklace obscure the real activity of radiation to her hip. “Go for it Miss Emma, you are a joyful addition to our morning”. Fred is not celebrating with his family this year. Unfortunately several had covid last Christmas after they did gather, prior to vaccines and he lost his wife. “Doc, she would want me to stay here and just take care of my cancer now. I am going to make her cookie recipe and ship them to the kids”. Mary’s son is buying her dinner she will eat in the car as he drives her through the light shows and neighborhoods. She tells me, “Traveling to my grandmother’s house for Christmas, I always enjoyed the bedazzled colorful houses in South Philly. When people decorate I want to thank them for brightening my day”. How very sweet.

Bakti makes her way down the hall in a lovely silk sari. Well aware that she is Hindu, I am surprised by her remark. “Doctor, I cannot wait for my grandchildren to see their presents. Its a wonderful time of year”. Everyone loves to celebrate. As a young child, I learned in our cozy home growing up, the real spirit of Christmas was a time of sharing and the house filled with our Jewish neighbors thrilled to enjoy companionship, food and festivities.

Last year, while we treated Marjorie, greater challenges fell on her narrow shoulders. She lost her granddaughter to leukemia. “Doc, the last time I was in church was her funeral. I can’t go back, even that is taken from me”. During her time on therapy we spoke a lot about the young teen. The small gold cross sits at her neck so I try to encourage. “Marjorie, Jen was in the school plays and choir. She would want you to do something for her. Go to church on Christmas and listen to the carols. Hear her voice in the choir. I believe that she will be there for you.” Marjorie can make the smallest effort and God will do the rest.

I am wistful as I set up my little manger scene on a table top this weekend. I recall what a treat it was when I bought it from Sears for our first Christmas – 48 years ago and put it under a live tree- then came the train sets. Over the years, aside from the three wise men, I have added a Florida Santa in a bathing suit, father and mother Christmas figurines from our grandparents countries (Poland, Russia and Italy) and I smile because I have read how very cheugy this is (new word that refers to our old-fashioned ways).

Lights, holidays, caroling, Christmas movies, scented candles, ugly sweaters, goofy socks and going to a church service take no effort but provide an uplift that can bring a smile or peacefulness. “Joanne, you are always pushing us- walk 30 min, eat right, don’t smoke, get screened. Now you are pushing the holidays?” Yup. Frankly I take every single chance to move the focus so that there is even a small opportunity to break the pattern of perseveration on the crisis. Delia cannot shake the fear, dismay and disappointment of her diagnosis- even dealing with it for years. A loved one should empower her or guide her out of the vortex. You can help to cheer someone as well.

So put the reindeer horns on your car and go for a ride, stop at a creek and feed the ducks, walk through a mall or downtown and enjoy others’ hard work of making displays for you to enjoy. Bring a cup of hot chocolate along and drive around to see the sparkle. Take in a breath of peace in church. You have not lost your faith. The simplest efforts can change your internal dialogue- even for a few minutes. You can begin to believe, in this festive time of fantasy, that while everything is not perfectly right with you, so much is right and even bright with your world.

Rudolph

Joanne Dragun, M.D.3 Comments

We all have favorite Christmas carols and hymns, but even if you love the holidays, we can have fatigue for “BuBuBuBlue Christmas” quickly. I was reminded of my least favorite this morning. I stopped in the dark morning run to admire a full bright starry sky and big dipper. Thank goodness I did. A second later two large dear dashed across the path directly in front startling me, then a possum scurried in the opposite direction. My peace was disrupted but at least my heart rate was up.

Radio stations and malls start at Halloween and people feel pressured to decorate, shop and make travel plans two months ahead. This extended season causes many modifications in healthcare as well. People hold off on elective procedures, and often therapy is interrupted for travel. Patients pull out calendars filled with doctors visits interspersed with activities. Many cancel their plans to travel with a new diagnosis. “Doc, I wish I didn’t have the biopsy last month. I could have enjoyed Christmas more. Now I can’t stand hearing “I’ll be home for Christmas”.

Its a trade off- not just modifying the cancer journey but moving from hearth and home to live a warmer life in Florida. We all miss our relatives this time of year and face- time replaces the hugs. For those who can travel they will brave the cold, ice and snow to be close. What I experience with patients is how emotional the season can be. Many realize that time is marked by these holidays. Mary asks, “Doc, do you think I will be here next Christmas?” You know by now how important hope is. “Mary, I can say with absolute certainty that you will be here next Christmas, even if you are the Christmas angel”. She smiles sweetly.

Of course as always I have a recommendation. Cancer really doesn’t grow overnight. Some forms take years. You can postpone breast and prostate biopsies, scans, Mohs surgery, or starting radiation. Holidays are full enough- why invite more drama? Take control. Enjoy friends and family when you can. Too often I see patients dug into the therapy as if its the only thing important in life- it isn’t. There are empty seats at all of our tables this holiday. We won’t recall our loved one’s therapy. We will joyfully remember a time they celebrated with us. Make some memories for yourself and others. As a cancer physician I am giving you permission to celebrate and forget everything related to any illness. Do not forgo interactions because you don’t feel up to it- others will give you the energy you lack.

If you are already well into treatment and cannot get away, deliberately play the carols on the car radio and sing out loud- you know every word. Let them wash over you and smile at the memories. Indulge in corny holiday movies, make some cookies, brew Christmas coffee or sip some eggnog. You can still participate in the warmth and cheer. I love to do my shopping on line but then head to the mall to see the decorations and watch the anticipation the little ones have as they wait their turn for Santa.

Just remember when you hear the holiday music to smile and enjoy, unless of course it’s “Grandma got run over by a reindeer“. It was a close call!