Ah the time of year when every street and town glows. Festival of lights are everywhere. Here in Jacksonville at the beach, there are decorated lifeguard stands instead of trees- all for a good cause and designed by young artists. It’s great fun to drive through if you don’t have the stamina to walk the park. Tina loves the holidays but coming in daily for radiation and weekly in the chemo chair is enough activity. “Doc, I just don’t know how to do Christmas now”.

Every year these sentiments appear and I encourage some effort to participate. Lights change the darkness, bringing excitement and energy. When you have neither, reach outside yourself just a little. My early morning jog brings me past a memory care home. My son has pointed out how very nearby it is… just in case. In the misty dark fog today I saw the twinkling lights of a mini tree in a window. What comfort and joy that must bring to the confusing and perhaps intimidating space.

The past two years have taught us all to simplify, but some traditions warm the heart and are more important than habit. Most of us are doing less, but you can still participate. Emma actually looks like a tree. “Doc, can I keep my lights on?” The headband from a dollar store and big bulb necklace obscure the real activity of radiation to her hip. “Go for it Miss Emma, you are a joyful addition to our morning”. Fred is not celebrating with his family this year. Unfortunately several had covid last Christmas after they did gather, prior to vaccines and he lost his wife. “Doc, she would want me to stay here and just take care of my cancer now. I am going to make her cookie recipe and ship them to the kids”. Mary’s son is buying her dinner she will eat in the car as he drives her through the light shows and neighborhoods. She tells me, “Traveling to my grandmother’s house for Christmas, I always enjoyed the bedazzled colorful houses in South Philly. When people decorate I want to thank them for brightening my day”. How very sweet.

Bakti makes her way down the hall in a lovely silk sari. Well aware that she is Hindu, I am surprised by her remark. “Doctor, I cannot wait for my grandchildren to see their presents. Its a wonderful time of year”. Everyone loves to celebrate. As a young child, I learned in our cozy home growing up, the real spirit of Christmas was a time of sharing and the house filled with our Jewish neighbors thrilled to enjoy companionship, food and festivities.

Last year, while we treated Marjorie, greater challenges fell on her narrow shoulders. She lost her granddaughter to leukemia. “Doc, the last time I was in church was her funeral. I can’t go back, even that is taken from me”. During her time on therapy we spoke a lot about the young teen. The small gold cross sits at her neck so I try to encourage. “Marjorie, Jen was in the school plays and choir. She would want you to do something for her. Go to church on Christmas and listen to the carols. Hear her voice in the choir. I believe that she will be there for you.” Marjorie can make the smallest effort and God will do the rest.

I am wistful as I set up my little manger scene on a table top this weekend. I recall what a treat it was when I bought it from Sears for our first Christmas – 48 years ago and put it under a live tree- then came the train sets. Over the years, aside from the three wise men, I have added a Florida Santa in a bathing suit, father and mother Christmas figurines from our grandparents countries (Poland, Russia and Italy) and I smile because I have read how very cheugy this is (new word that refers to our old-fashioned ways).

Lights, holidays, caroling, Christmas movies, scented candles, ugly sweaters, goofy socks and going to a church service take no effort but provide an uplift that can bring a smile or peacefulness. “Joanne, you are always pushing us- walk 30 min, eat right, don’t smoke, get screened. Now you are pushing the holidays?” Yup. Frankly I take every single chance to move the focus so that there is even a small opportunity to break the pattern of perseveration on the crisis. Delia cannot shake the fear, dismay and disappointment of her diagnosis- even dealing with it for years. A loved one should empower her or guide her out of the vortex. You can help to cheer someone as well.

So put the reindeer horns on your car and go for a ride, stop at a creek and feed the ducks, walk through a mall or downtown and enjoy others’ hard work of making displays for you to enjoy. Bring a cup of hot chocolate along and drive around to see the sparkle. Take in a breath of peace in church. You have not lost your faith. The simplest efforts can change your internal dialogue- even for a few minutes. You can begin to believe, in this festive time of fantasy, that while everything is not perfectly right with you, so much is right and even bright with your world.