As if this time of year isn’t busy enough, throw cancer into the mix and heads explode. Patients pine for the days they just had to figure the decorations, shopping, mailing, travel, cooking and gifting. Spending hours in the cancer center was never in the plan.
When Steph and Peter come for the consult, their concerns are solely focused on getting through Christmas for their three young children. While he will do well with chemo radiation and immunotherapy, it is a daunting process. Sam has a large skin cancer and while it will respond quickly to radiation, just entering the cancer center with his wife of 66 years reminds him of vulnerability. His eyes plead to help him so he can help her- his lifelong partner. Willie (great name) has only recently reconciled with his daughter in Ohio. I know this because it’s his third need for therapy for a lung cancer that keeps shifting. The hip pain is brutal but his goal is traveling for Christmas.
What these and many have in common is facing the inconvenience of cancer, especially at the holiday. Their spouses and families have essentially all said, “This comes first”. Everyone wants to put real life and celebrations on hold while we deal with the treatments. So today’s message is brief and to the point.
Decide what in your life comes first, then do that. Most can make it through the upcoming weeks with travel and plans just fine and return to care. Unfortunately next Christmas is not guaranteed. But celebrating will boost their immune systems and bring them back with more fortitude into the process. FOMO is real here. And so I tell patients often: ” Your holiday comes first”. Giving permission to be with family and friends and putting some normalcy around this holiday is critical- more so than any chemo or radiation. The urgency in your life should reflect our own goals and priorities not some treatment schedule.
So if you have places to go, people to see and parties to participate- do that with a whole heart. Do not let therapies derail. January is around the corner and enough time to get on board. The Grinch cancer should not steal your joy. Don’t let FOMO become fear of missing treatment- you won’t. We will still be here, waiting for you. I am a firm believer that you deserve a wonder-filled holiday and that every single time, you and your family should come first. Have a happy week.