The gathering of 11 friends on a Caribbean island last week was a real hoot. So much has happened in our lives over the past few years apart and it was a blessing to catch up. Can you just imagine everyone talking at once yet we still hear all the conversations? We speak unapologetically simultaneously. That is how it is with old friends. Everything moves very fast also there is no segue between topics. If you have a thought you just jump in. Rude? Heck no! How we missed this group, some with whom we raised our children steps away on a quiet rural cul-de-sac in the Pinelands.

Funny how none of us give into being older, yet the challenges are undoubtedly creeping in. We travel like an entourage, some even daring to drive- others holding on, but all with the greatest spirit and fun. On Valentines Day we decide to visit our favorite shop in town. We’ve frequented this lovely store for many years, but it is our first time since Hurricane Irma and covid that we are all together. There is a happy welcoming as the shop keepers recognize us quickly and delight in the energy the group brings. They gather around and a party breaks out. Champagne and rum are flowing, toasts are made and even pictures are taken. It is a homecoming of sorts. We are honoring their strength thru the challenges and they are delighted that the friendly faces have not forgotten or abandoned them.

Quietly to the side I ask Vijay how he managed with the 7 feet of water running in the streets and the devastation to the island. You cannot ignore that this storm has changed lives. He hesitates, then makes the decision to confide in me. He is a big man, mid aged now, strong, capable. The face darkens, the eyes, bright just moments before with celebration, dim. Apart from the cacophony, he whispers the story of shear horror they faced. Fear for his family as they moved inland. The attempt to evacuate, impossible. He felt helpless. When the terrific storm hit, he tells, “I was absolutely terrified for all the many hours it was overhead. We didn’t know if the roof would blow out or cave in on us. We all huddled in one room of a friend’s house. It was the worst experience of my life”. This stress and experience will take years to recover, far beyond the physical repairs. “I am so sorry”. I listen reverently. “Vijay, we are happy to see you well. You are strong and your family is fortunate”. He nods and we take a breath, finally turning to the others and their bubbling exuberance. For just a brief time, the dopamine and oxytocin seem to physically lighten the space, banishing pain and an almost magical glow surrounds us. The staff giggled as they realize they needed more than our purchases. We brought exuberance, hope, and joy. Our collective Jersey energy lifted this day and our own hearts as well. What we found was a way to create an event beyond ourselves. As we turned to leave, I caught Vijay’s eye and he quietly nodded.

Frenetic, frenzied, fun “Jersey speak” may have dominated the week and I will cherish this magical time among friends. But I will also remain touched by the courage of one simple and quiet conversation. You do not have to hold all the answers. You do not have to financially support. You do not have to even take more than a few minutes of time. But if you listen, you can be just the right saving grace to allow another to unburden their heart, giving them a chance to celebrate their own strength.