The hospital cancer clinic is still buzzing with the hurricane effects. Employees and patients compare their disaster stories and pictures. It’s an unhealthy competition. Millie’s awfulness wins the day when not only is she receiving chemo and radiation, but her home flooded. Her husband, dog and cat were rescued by a son in a truck and are tucked into a small space with his family. The upside is more time with grand kids. The downside is they are all teens. Her husband clutches a flowered tote like a security blanket. “Everything is gone” he says. Their eyes are large and even removing masks this week found no smiles. “We worked hard our whole life, we didn’t deserve this”. No one did.
What happens next is what matters. The unselfish efforts to manage and comfort are center stage. The employees are collecting money for others with young families who are still sitting shell shocked. The embrace of post storm help is everywhere. What a wonderful and uplifting time in the aftermath. Telling the stories is critical to healing. By the end of the week, Millie is managing and wearing some funky clothes from a granddaughter her size. “I don’t even know who this band is”, she says of the T shirt. “It’s better you don’t”, I counter. Her husband bonds in the lobby with a male patient regarding how to manage their totaled cars. The healing is slow and labored, but one step at a time, everyone is getting through the day.
Josh is too young for cancer and too weak to empty the damaged house. His father flew in from Michigan to help. He is happy to respond and the formerly estranged son is grateful. The father’s strength is needed so much more than for the clean up. As with getting through therapy or recovering from injury or loss, it is the gradual pace that reveals some improvement at the end of each day. Patience is imperative.
What can we do when faced with terrifying circumstances? Even with challenges, there must be belief that you can overcome. If disaster strikes, have faith you will be saved. When hardships arise, believe that you will find a way through. If the situation is overwhelming, rest assured there will be a helping hand and often from unlikely sources.
You also have the ability to manage your situation by how you decide to approach it. To paraphrase holocaust survivor Victor Frankl, “The one thing no one can take away is the way you choose to respond to (what happens to you). Freedom is choosing your attitude in any given situation”. We forget this truth so it is worth repeating. You are actually the first responder.
I am not admonishing you to put on a good front or to be upbeat. But I am advising that you can be empowered. Here is a reminder that you are in control. Recognize your situation and permit yourself an appropriate reaction. Then set your intention just for the day. Months of treatment or recovery is too much to fathom. Survival tomorrow is only possible because you were strong and determined today. I see the possibilities again and again.
By Friday, I give information and support to Millie that the therapy, though tough, is having a positive effect. They let go of the breath they have held. For her husband, I told him I intend to cure him of that large flowered handbag. They chuckled and touched hands as they left the clinic. Being grateful for even a small moment is a start.