Never underestimate the ability to get into trouble. No, I am not talking about the near throw -down with the passport control agent this week when, after traveling for 16 hours, I used my remaining energy to scamper to his station. He quickly admonished me to wait until he waved me up. While he lectured me, I scowled into the camera and was ready with a few words. Ha! A tirade from a probably equally tired agent. My husband’s hand on my shoulder kept me from worsening the interaction. But I digress with the confess. We were returning from what was a delightful trip, postponed 2 years, over the pond.

On a beautiful, cool morning, we had a lovely ride to a fave city of ancient Edinburgh. The tourists were discharged to our own devices with directions for meet up. After a few hours, the 80 yo dapper Scot, a jovial, corny joke -telling, tour guide, discovered one woman missing and needed to locate her prior to touring the castle. “This has never happened before”, he lamented. Really? Even with gps, winding the way back to the bus was confusing and every medieval street with knock off Chinese- made plaid, looked identical. After about 45 minutes, it was decided to get moving and search for her since a relative on board could call her phone. Located on a corner a mile away we all breathed a sigh of relief. Here is my point, finally. As we stopped in the middle of the cobbled intersection, the tourist realized we had come for her. The guide, Chris, reached down to help the woman up the stairs of the large bus. In his lilting Scottish brogue, he softly said, “Well done”. I found this a startlingly gracious statement. It quickly served to sooth the errant, embarrassed senior and even calmed the frenzied passengers. It was a remarkable way to handle what could have been a disaster if she was lost. I quickly decided that we need to say this more. All the time.

Finished chemo? Well done. Not a litany of complaints and fearful rumination. Completed a course and ready for a new challenge? Before you begin, stop and tell yourself, “Well done”. The child calms himself after anything from having to eat peas to a scraped knee. “Well done”. The operation was a success with perhaps weeks or months of recovery ahead, but “well done” first step. You move your ailing or aging parents in and everyone manages and gets along the first week. Well done. As always, cancer researchers this week continue to push hard for innovations *. Well done and thank you.

We can all appreciate that there are so many events, small and enormous, where the economy of these short four- letter words could be called upon. They can limit drama, arguments, fear, anxiety even confusion. They can lift the person hearing to another level of pride, accomplishment, and acceptance.

Try them out and often. Perhaps if I told this to myself on Tuesday in customs, relieved that the travel across the pond succeeded, I would have overlooked the insult and had a positive interaction (and a better picture.) Let’s consider borrowing the example of calm, sweet, patience that we witness in others. How lovely that we too could then efficiently and effectively pass on an empowerment with kindness and simplicity.

Thank you Scotland, Ireland and England for your many gentle reminders of civility- lovely countries of beauty and truly beautiful people.

*Enhertu improves survival in low Her2 metastatic breast cancer (cancer.gov). Arginine amino acid improves effectiveness of radiation in brain cancers (hospitalhealthcare.com). Prostate cancer radiation therapy to pelvic lymph nodes with hormone therapy improves survival, Cedars-Sinai Cancer (thelancet).