We all recall the wonder-filled upbeat movie “Big” with Tom Hanks. The title reflected transforming into his grown-up body while still a child. The concept of living big with a child-like wonder can inspire us all. Dancing on the keyboard, falling for the pretty girl, though shy, making bold and wild ideas come to life in toys… living big! Lately, we’ve been doing the opposite. I listened to a meditation recently. The guide had many suggestions to keep things simple and contemplate small, taking time instead of just barreling through life. I am not having any of it. We are done living a scared, tight, small existence. We only get one life and while a virus has upended our peace, we can still be bold.

When Norman came to see me this week, the tattooed motorcycle rider was used to living in a big, gregarious way. The new diagnosis of cancer at only 45 years knocked him over. His whole perspective on life changed with one scan. There is a disconnect between his activities, travels, work, family, and friends, and this new threat. “Shoot me now, Doc! I guess I am dying. How’d you like that for a kick in the head??” This lifestyle change is more than he bargained for so early in life.

 I remind Norman that he didn’t ride his Harley cross country until he practiced around the block. Ramping up to “big” takes effort. “Norman I want that life for you as well. You can still live large, unafraid, fearless. Right now we need to manage the confusion and terror. You can’t get out of the rain until you build a roof, so let’s get started on therapy to protect you”. No one, regardless how tough is not afraid of cancer- double negatives for emphasis. During therapy, Norman needs hope for the future. Eventually, he will improve and there will come changes but he will have time to acclimate to them.

Lives have changed everywhere this year. Every one is not getting back to normal with covid either- there are jobs, businesses, and health changes for many- even psychological stress. Our child-like wonder has vanished. So its time to think of new normals and give ourselves the chance to be fierce and excited about our futures again. We are not here to live small, mousy insignificant lives. No matter the stressors- you are in this life to make a difference, love your family and friends, engage with passion and deliberateness.

The next day Norman came for the simulation to start the planning for radiation. He rode his Harley, walked in the door as if he owned the place. Gone was the downward cast eyes and quiet frightened demeanor. He was big, bold and brash and I loved it. “Bring it on,” his attitude said. That power will give him strength for the battle and surely impact his immune system. If he succeeds it will be all him and he will go on to live and love a big life.

Thanks Norman. You were just the shot in the arm we all need now. You will inspire others and we will all embrace a full future without timidness or fear. It’s important for us to live big lives in honor of those who miss having those years. Let’s all make the most of rejuvenation after the recent months of fear, and engage big and expect bigger.