Many aspects of living actually keep us from truly living. What has tapped you on the shoulder, stopping you in your tracks and caused distraction? Certainly a cancer diagnosis does that. “Wait; you cannot get on with life, you must stop and reconfigure your work, exercise, money and budget, caring for children and others.” No, you cannot put this aside until you are ready. Cancer won’t be ignored.
What a selfish being this cancer thing is. The dynamic is the same for many of life’s events and surprises: a death, sickness, drug addiction, accident, inability to use a limb, hospitalization, divorce, deployment, moving from friends and family. All of life’s stressors. The path you thought you were taking is detoured over very rough terrain and getting lost can happen. Even other joys don’t register when this overwhelming problem appears.
Patients frequently tell about being blindsided: the mother getting ready for her daughter’s wedding diagnosed with breast cancer. The grandmother headed to graduation out of state going to the hospital instead. The son going off to college, now on hold caring for his ailing father. The list is long and daunting. Life as we know and want it to be stops.
As much as I am a fan of pursuing dreams, activity, enjoying life even with cancer, the momentum is not in that direction any longer. May I suggest that this terrible interference can also provide us a moment to stop and take a breath? Yes, it may make you turn around but you can also look around.
How exciting can it be to now make new life-worthy decisions that you may have avoided when your trajectory was “set”? Many of our patients describe going back to school, having or adopting a child, becoming closer with estranged family, getting married, changing the drudgery of one job to something they love. Because this movement also can happen with a re-routed life. There is opportunity to engage in more meaningful ways. At the very minimum is a new-found appreciation for your life.
Do not despair. It may be intimidating when faced with the unknown, but now you can view everything in a different way. Life isn’t on hold, it is happening. It is forcing you to take control and burst out of your sameness. Be assured that you are up for the challenge. Embrace the new experiences, people, environments. You will be amazed at your strength and proud when you recognize new potential. Were you in a steady state that you took for granted?
Be open to letting this change be life affirming. Don’t settle for less out of fear. Open your mind and your body will follow. Above all: get ready for the greatness that is still within you!
Did you discover a new path after adversity? Please share.