Category: Life after cancer, cancer support, cancer therapy, finding purpose

Party in the House!

Joanne Dragun, M.D.

Connection is critical in cancer care. (alliteration!) Treatment is a big commitment and during the process people bond. The center becomes a second home for weeks. When patients return for follow up visits they are happy to see us even when filled with trepidation. These visits become a celebration of life.

This week was a parade of fun : Lucia speaks little English but her exuberance speaks volumes and she greets us all with a hug. She shyly reaches into her suitcase (handbag doesn’t adequately describe ) and surprises us with “chocolata” thrilled with the staff’s smiles.

Adda is out from her drama a year. She bring trinkets from a recent visit home to family in the Middle East and pretends to not understand my objection to gifts as she wraps me in her mother’s scarf with a hug. Robert is from my hometown Philadelphia and never arrives without his Phillies, Eagles or Flyers hat.

Mickey powers in like a force in full neon orange from earrings to 6″ heels fully expecting the high fives and laughter from staff. Macy embraces us all and at 89 she views her check up as an outing and loves the fuss over her. Janice delights in her many colorful and funky wigs while undergoing chemo and is always surprised and delighted by the giggles she inspires.

So many opportunities for delight far from the madding thoughts of sickness right here in the cancer center. Is it all frivolous fun? Nope! Connecting with people improves our immune systems. Caring, not just treating helps the cure. My new secretary hears the “party in the back” where the exams rooms are and says, “Dr.D, what goes on here?”

There are no delusions. We cannot rescue everyone- but we can provide a path to wellness in spirit. Connection does that. Just as I recall Sunday dinner at my parent’s house, patients should feel that we are waiting just for them- to greet them with respect, to treat them with expertise, to honor the life in them, bringing them not only into therapy but into our hearts.

The environment is as important for healing as the technology. There are so many ways to keep from taking ourselves too seriously. Make a conscious decision that illness or challenges do not have power over you. Lighten your hearts and bring others into your own party. When you are a connection to someone with cancer, you are changing their world and your own- all for the better.

Have you discovered ways to lighten your life? Please share and thank you.

100 Times per day

Joanne Dragun, M.D.3 Comments

Gratitude. Express it. Recently you’ve probably read that instead of saying “thank you” it is more meaningful to say “I appreciate you”.

As Einstein said, “A hundred times a day I remind myself that my inner and outer lives depend on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the measure as I have received and am still receiving.” Some have paraphrased this to say, “Einstein said ‘thank you’ a hundred time per day”. Is there a message here and what can we gain from this exercise?

A leading researcher of gratitude, Professor of Psychology and editor in Chief of Positive Psychology Robert Emmons, PhD (UC Davis) defines gratitude as a “felt sense of wonder, thankfulness and appreciation of life”. Basically, gratitude makes us happier and healthier. “Doc, what do I have to be grateful for? I have cancer.” Look at it this way: that change in your life makes it easy to express 100 statements of gratitude. Not just thanking people who support you, give you the therapy, drive you to treatments, make a meal, but even your body: your legs work, your eyes see, your thoughts guide, you have a wheelchair to get around, your vision may be poor but you can hear kind words, your thoughts may be confused but you know your loved one.

I recall an early awareness of this practice of gratitude. In first grade Sister Joseph Raphael lined us up in the hallway for the restroom (there were 98 in my class and no teacher’s aid) She would say, “Thank God for your kidneys”. I had no idea what that meant but there was “kid” in the word so I thought she meant the other kids in line (I was five) .

You express gratitude all the time but becoming more aware and deliberate in the process has benefits. Remember to be grateful for yourself too. Over your lifetime there are so many ways your body has healed or improved. Look in the mirror. Really look at yourself, not the flaws but the strength. Be grateful for your determination; you are fierce and you have the will to live. What you will find is that 100 times isn’t enough! Ultimately you begin to wash your brain of the negative and smile at the positive life affirming messages you can gift yourself every day.

Sister Joseph Raphael may have been overworked and not paid, she may have been praising God not quoting Einstein, but she knew what she was talking about. So now let me say, I am grateful for you.