Category: buddy system

Puppies!

Joanne Dragun, M.D.

The Australian kangaroos and koala bears are capturing our imaginations as the wildfires roar. We feel heartbreak for their helplessness and grateful for the U.S. and international forces rescuing that beloved country.

Elaine arrives for therapy for lung cancer and tells of being moved by the tragedy. “Doc, I was feeling such a strong desire to do something. I wanted to help in some way. Then I realized I still have a power right here. At 78 I thought I was too old to get a new pet, but I got off the sofa, walked out the door. I went to the rescue shelter and adopted a puppy! I felt that he was waiting just for me. Oh my gosh, my husband was shocked when we came into the house, but “Barky” flew into his arms like he was finally home. Oh what joy I cannot tell you!”

Elaine already has her hands full but training a new puppy is a great distraction from her own drama. “I was putting away the Christmas decorations and he just tumbled through the mess and had a gay old time He is so comical we just laugh and laugh”. She tells how the puppy has bonded fiercely with her husband. “Barky doesn’t know that I have cancer, he just expects me to stop everything and pay attention to him. And I do! He doesn’t realize that my husband has Alzheimer’s disease and that sometimes he forgets we have a puppy”.

A new and exciting, fun-filled routine has captured their imaginations and filled their once sad and painful home with renewed life.. I ask to see a picture, but even better her husband is waiting with him in the car. We head to the parking lot and as I peep through the window, both are sound asleep with Barky snoozing on his belly. What a sight. This bundle of joy greets Elaine with wags, licks and adoration and my heart sings with happiness for them.

Elaine was inspired to open her heart and now their lives are changed magically. They are looking for a pet- friendly assisted living since her husband will need more care and she is in her own battle. What joy Barky will bring to others there as well. Who doesn’t fall in love with a furry, wiggly ball of happiness? Barky is a funny name because he is so busy giving attention and cuddles that I haven’t heard him yip once. I am thrilled for Elaine and her bravery in reaching out for renewal instead of giving into the drama of their situation. Both of their immune systems will be boosted by this tiny gift of goodness, and the several daily walks will enrich their togetherness and stamina.

Little puppy, you outshine all the medications, chemo and radiation we can offer. Love does that.

Angels and Elves

Joanne Dragun, M.D.3 Comments

A brick row home in Philadelphia set the stage for brilliant excitement of the season. Large bulb colorful lights framed a doorway as a beacon of warmth and love. The chubby Douglas Fir tree was tucked into a corner of the living room as space magically appeared to accommodate. A Lionel train chugged thru the carefully and lovingly placed tiny colorful houses lit from within. “Merry Christmas Happy New Year” banner was anchored over the arch into the dining room announcing a welcome to all and a cardboard fireplace in another corner with stockings attached. Relatives arrived regardless the weather, filling the home with love and cheer Christmas Eve and later in the evening an open house began. Mom passed her homemade pizza and Christmas cookies to joyful neighbors and friends who, in this mostly Jewish neighborhood adopted the holiday for the evening.

Twenty years later while working at Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philly, I witnessed a similar phenomenon. The hospital was well loved and developed a wonderful tradition. Permitting as many staff as possible to be home with families on Christmas, it opened its doors to the community for help. Barreling in, long before ugly Christmas sweaters were a thing, the excited Jewish community arrived in festive attire and joyfilled hearts. There were no HIPPA laws so they could help at the nurses stations, the kitchen was buzzing and no one cared if the orders were correct. Two elderly ladies struggled and giggled to work the industrial bucket wringer until they gave up and swiped the sheet from a gurney for a large spill. Men carved the meat in the busy cafeteria as if they were tailgating, the dessert slices were generous and the festive cafeteria gave the doctors, nurses and staff, who were necessary in a busy hospital, a chance to enjoy the excitement.

I cannot tell you how very grateful I am and I want to personally thank everyone who contributes to helping others treasure their holiday time with family. A colleague from Pakistan routinely covers another physician and I have a wonderful Doc caring for patients so I can visit grandchildren. When I was an intern on call and working 100 hours a week, my request for Christmas day off to be home for my sons and husband was ignored. When the schedule came out, tears sprung to my eyes and I could hardly get thru morning report. I was crushed with one more sacrifice; 36 hours on call. It was all just too much. A fellow intern put a hand on my shoulder as we headed out the door. “Joanne, out of 40 of us, you are the only one with children ( I was 12 years older having started school in my thirties) my girlfriend is out of town for Christmas but wants to celebrate New Year’s Eve. Lets switch!” And just like that my own Christmas was saved by a magical 6’4″ elf.

Christmas isn’t just a religious holiday. It holds excitement as children that evolves as we age, to anticipation of togetherness, gifting our hearts and love to each other. The emotions are fierce.

To those who celebrate and those who make it possible, my heartfelt wishes for every blessing. My thanks for your support, hope for those deployed for safe return, health for those who are ill, comfort for those who suffer, food for those hungry and warmth for those who are cold, memories in our heart for those no longer here to celebrate. Love for us all knowing that we are a community of people faithful to each other and God has given us a season to celebrate the miracle of our sacrifices and love.

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. May your every wish come true.

Kindness

Joanne Dragun, M.D.

There are so many ways kindnesses are manifested in the families I am blessed to treat. Relatives and friends pitch in to drive, cook, help with medications, set up appointments and find a myriad of ways to extend support. Right now I have a run on handbags!

Wait. What? Women come for their treatments and their husbands arrive carrying their handbags, some over their arm others dragging on the floor. I noticed this phenomenon more this week because of Mrs. Arnold’s husband. He is a big 6’4″ robust man who arrives daily with his petite wife for her therapy. After her exam she heads to the changing room and he dutifully picks up her tiny purse. He has no concerns for himself and I love it. He smiles at me and shrugs his shoulders.

“Mr. Arnold, I think it is time for you to get a bigger bag, one that suits you. This tiny flowered one can’t hold more than lipstick and a tissue”. He looks down and softly smiles. “Doc, you won’t believe it but now I put my cellphone in here too!” I think: now that is a self assured man! He is laser focused on one thing: helping his wife in every way. Hoping that carrying her bag, assisting her with a sweater, holding her chair will somehow contribute to her healing.

As Mrs. Arnold rounds the corner, he steps up to meet her and transfers the bag into his other hand while he gently holds hers and escorts her to the door. The big gruff man with the tiny handbag is a blessed vision of kindness. I don’t think he will get a bigger bag. I think this one is just right.

Recognize the simple acts of kindnesses that surround you everyday and enjoy the blessings.

The Buddy System

Joanne Dragun, M.D.

Summer afternoons in Florida bring torrential downpours, lightening, electrical disruptions, flooding and accidents. It’s a mess, but thank goodness they generally last only a few minutes to an hour. I never heard anyone use the term “drizzle” like we did up North and I quickly learned my first year  here to respect when they say “rain”. Monsoons are more like it.

When Chuck* came in to discuss his new diagnosis of multiple myeloma and radiation for pain, he arrived with his service dog, Buddy*. What followed is a chaotic visit punctuated by the booming lightning strikes seen through the window overlooking the pond and preserve (usually a tranquil view). As always we start with the history. Chuck is a veteran. Following several deployments, he has PTSD and thought his fatigue and pain were related, no idea of this new cancer as the culprit. He adopted Buddy after he was trained for emotional support. We all need a Buddy  on this day. The large yellow Labrador Retriever lies at Chuck’s feet as we review the x-rays and discuss care. The  storm ramped up and I found my sentences punctuated with “crash-crash” as if we are all in a horror movie.

Poor Buddy needed our support more than Chuck. He wears the vest but it doesn’t protect him from the startle response to the lightning strikes. Finally, Chuck sits on the floor and cradles a trembling Buddy in his lap, rocking back and forth. It is all just too much for everyone. Having a front row seat to the interaction reinforces how healing  the bond is for both.

When the drama subsides after about 45 minutes we finally get on with helping Chuck and Buddy heads out to the waiting room, looking back several times to be sure Chuck is okay. What sweetness and concern passes between them. Chuck says, “You’ll be alright, Buddy” as he pats his head. Buddy knows that Chuck is in trouble and that his job of support just logarithmically increased. His presence will be a big factor in Chuck’s wellbeing and recovery.

Buddy gives Chuck someone to live for, pushing him toward treatment he may otherwise have avoided. They will both do well for a time and I am grateful for the magical loving bond that was created from nothing but now means the world.

What support systems have you found helpful during your journey? Feel free to share. Joanne

*Names have been changed to protect identity.