Accolades abound regarding the sparkling star. Her larger than life spirit and smile will definitely be missed. Her remarkable generosity, extending to children, from Dollyworld to the international Imagination Libraries, leave a lasting legacy. Today, however I want to focus on her final gift.
In Dolly’s unexpected passing this week, she has acutely reminded us the need and importance of self-care. Cancer patients lean heavily on their spouses and loved ones and too often when the battle is over, won or lost, they now need treatments- mental and physical. Just juggling medical appointments can be a nightmare. An “All hands on deck” mentality takes over. Again and again however, I’ve witnessed the caregivers’ neglect.
“Now you have to put up with me” Gene sheepishly shrugs his shoulders, as he presents for his own prostate cancer treatment. Marla’s battle had ended six months ago, and Gene wore the scars bravely. Mike held on with faith and hope while his beautiful daughter, Jennifer fought a G.I. cancer. From surgery, to chemo and radiation, having lost his wife years prior, he was her soul support. I witnessed him deteriorating during this time, encouraging him to seek attention. He deliberately avoided with large fearful eyes. He would just shake his head. Cynthia canceled her own appointments, as the senior citizen wheeled her son for treatments daily, managing a brain tumor, related to his burn pits exposure. Her own neglect emotionally and physically evident. These tragedies are easily recalled, but they are a small sample of my witness.
In her last days, Dolly admitted her lack of attention to her own needs over the past years caring for her husband. While Dolly was an avid philanthropist, making a mark on the world and mourned by many, it is her final message that resonates personally for us. Her gift that will keep giving will be to remind us that illness and injury cannot be given all power. Remember, how very strong you are. Remember that you have value and deserve attention. While you care for another with deep devotion, you benefit each other when you insert yourself in the caring process. You also have a future to unfold. Exercise, eating well even if you only have time to consume supplements, getting your own screenings, paying attention to your own symptoms and definitely recognizing the need to seek treatment for depression and sleeplessness. This is not suggesting neglect of another. This message is encouraging you, as you have helped them to live their best life, to live yours without regret.
Thank you Dolly Parton, for being honest and even in your passing, for reminding each of us of our value. You will continue to change lives.