While we are about health and wellness and learn from experiences discussed here, today let’s explore something at the very heart of our well being: control. Our lives unfold with consequences of our actions from education to jobs and careers to families, homes and environments. We attempt to control situations that can improve our lives and our families… constantly. Even your own health while personal, impacts them all. Do they have to move you into their home, pay for care? afford your bills? suffer your pain with you? Those events out of our control like illness and trauma can devastate our planning. None of us wants to accept victim-hood. This concept is top of mind coming off the events New Years Eve and the randomness of the impact. As a joyful new year unfolded, we are reminded to hold our loved ones close and to have gratitude for our health and safety.

Resilience is important to navigate life, but there is no reason we cannot work toward taking responsibility and control. Today lets consider a few reminders. For safety, situational awareness is mandatory. I recall almost forty years ago, navigating a sketchy part of Philly on the way to med school. I would park a distance away due to cost, carry my wallet inside my coat with a satchel draped over my shoulder (a weapon in itself). When I would be approached, I’d look in the distance and wave as if someone was watching me and run or quicken my step- it worked every time to make the threatening party think twice. I was damned if someone bent on evil would derail my mission. I still do this today.

I learned to carry personal alarms and even bought them for female staff going into a dark parking lot at end of day (see amazon to buy in batch). I always kept the alarm app up on my phone when I went jogging, especially in the morning hours.

As we age, we all look like likely victims coming and going to market, getting into cars, too often with our cell phones distracting us. “Read the room” or space and be vigilant. Be in control so someone else doesn’t take control.

Control your own environment. With illness and aging come devastating falls in the home. Get rid of throw rugs and obstacles. If you feel better with a shower chair get one, put up grab bars. A Doctor friend ended his career with a shower fall and head injury in his 50’s. Another Doctor fell with rib fractures and lung collapse.

Control your own healthcare. I am reminded of this as Miriam comes into the center this week. We line up a plan of care for her disease, and at 83 years old, she is having none of it. Since she is alone, I have no one to plead to on her behalf. I eventually ask why. After the deep sigh and furrowed brow, she tells me. She is caregiver for her invalid husband, raising, with full custody, teenage great!-grandchildren and even works a few days a week. She has lived most of her life in the US but has no friends for support. We change plans and come up with a good solution. She agrees because not getting treatment will shorten her time for caring for those relying on her.

Miriam reminds us that control is often a part of every action and decision. Be aware, make demands, never be timid. Whether it is navigating your daily life, or facing down an ailment, even cancer, after you tell yourself to have a “good morning” (last week’s post) act on that directive all day and do it on your terms. Stay safe friends.