There was a palpable energy in the cancer center this week. The testing, scheduling, simulations (prep for radiation) even O.R. cases made for a frenetic feeling. The wonderful staff bullied me from one activity to another and I even traded my cute orange shoes for sneaks. What’s all the fuss for? The holidays are upon us!

But…. here is the interesting dichotomy: when I enter the exam rooms, everything changes. It’s like an alternate universe. The discussions slow and the events will not be rushed. In fact, many will be on hold while the holidays unfold. The patients are driving the discussion and the Doctor stops to listen (the whole point behind the “Listening to Cancer” book).

Again and again the patient takes the controls and I steer but give them the pedals. They will each decide the tempo and how their journey will modify, reflecting what is important to them. Patients are living their best lives even with cancer and while grateful for the care, move forward on their own terms, something I’ve always admired and encouraged. People are not putting off living for the cancer. Family, events, travel, living now come first. As I said to Jim from Philly, “You didn’t grow it overnight, it won’t go away that fast, so go home for Thanksgiving and see us the next week. What a relief for him. He bought tickets long before the diagnosis. He and I know next year may not be an option. Frank is flying to Minnesota (yikes!) to be with his 101 year old mother. Am I really going to tell him to stay for therapy? Heck no! So every patient I saw this week had a similar experience with Dr. Dragun….GO! Stop making cancer the focus. There is plenty of time for that, be with your loved ones, embrace them, play with the children, hold your parent’s hand. Cancer is selfish, we don’t have to be. I like the concept of bullying cancer.

And so this Thanksgiving, I am grateful to have the opportunity to guide patients, give permission, confidence and hope. In return I received lots of hugs, some had tears, but mostly they were all grateful, as am I. Let’s celebrate these amazing lives we have, even if our bodies “fail” us. Gratitude is an elixir that recharges, refocuses, regenerates and reminds. It may even reunite.

Wishing you, dear friends, a very Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families.