Every single element develops perspective when a loved one passes, or your life changes with illness, separation or a loss. All that matters is what matters now. The noise quiets even as there are attempts to pull you from numbness. You carefully choose which calls to answer, what messages are worthy of response. You avoid social media and realize that TV pundits aggravate more than instruct. You look for meaning elsewhere and you learn to take a breath.

It is not just grieving- that alone shakes the core, but so much more. It is all perspective. You recognize the power of prayer in your life. You reach for God to heal and for family and friends to comfort. You become grateful for the smallest touch of kindness- a word, a meal, a card. You admit that time is short and that wellness and strength are fleeting. All that holds truth is love. You admit mortality and believe in immortality of the soul.

Perhaps you wonder how you wasted years with worry and doubt when faith and hope were always available to you. It is okay for everything to change. It is right and just. You are meant to view your life and others through a new lens.

This week, Marsha held my hand. Her husband of 67 years is the patient. She thinks we can save him, but at 91, he has been saved many times over and there is no Hail Mary play. My role is to advise that comfort is a valuable goal. He smiles, she begins to accept. In the next room is Jose who at 90 wants treatment, and in this case his wife is frightened, so we decide a plan for minimal side effects rather than long term gain.

Everyday these decisions are made to meet people where they are, accepting that their bodies are betraying them even while their minds are strong. Moving from the work of wellness into acceptance helps the whole family. When it is time, you will know. Be true to yourself and others will join you. Demonstrate your strength if not in battle then in peace. Trust that your personal journey is revealing itself to you. Choose caregivers and doctors who support you. While a life well lived is magical, a life of spiritual integrity can be immortal.

Enjoy the eclipse (with glasses!) on Monday and the last Falcon heavy launch on Tuesday- there are still fun moments to touch our spirits.