Meeting Jeff for the first time, I am catching up with his current journey. I say current because this is his third time treating a cancer: prostate 10 years ago, bladder 4 years and now a lung lesion from the bladder tumor. Don’t be alarmed for Jeff, who at 83 is taking it all in stride and even delights in coming to this center. Relocating to Florida from Michigan, he and his wife enjoyed a full and active time. The “kids’ are scattered across the US and after his wife passed, Jeff seems to manage well on his own. He arrives with a cup of coffee and “hangs out”in the waiting room, not rushing out “to do”.

Checking in with him this week, he is excited for a new interaction. “Look Doc!” He takes off his Navy ball cap. “I have hair!” The little fuzz is developing after his chemo and he is seeing this as a sign of renewal. ” Jeff, that is great (I see his well developed male -pattered baldness) You may even grow more than before”. He chuckles, “Wouldn’t that be something?”

Jeff gets the fact that there is no guarantee. He is happy for the day. A great way to enter each interaction. He wants to be seen, not ignored. He wants to have some impact even in weakness and fatigue. He is eager to have this ongoing living mean something. I get it. No one wants to become invisible. Many become weary and lose the drive. Coming for therapy an arduous task without assured outcome.

Greta is not a patient. She is also 83 and works the register in the cafeteria. We bond over my non-working badge. I can’t just tap out for coffee so she just pats my arm and lets me go. Earlier this month I tell her it’s my birthday. We chat about our ages. She describes how as a young girl her family escaped Germany and WWII. “I am grateful to be here everyday she says. I am happy to keep working”. She tells about her disabled son in his 60’s. The morning after the second hurricane, Greta spots me in the line. She comes around to give me a big hug and hope I am ok. She and her son got through it without event, thank goodness. She is beaming, maybe for a friendly face who shows empathy. She made my morning as well.

I would like to propose this week that, as we engage with others, we take our time, stop even a few seconds and see them…. in turn, you will enjoy the benefit of them seeing you. Now I am off to figure a way to have Jeff come back and go for coffee in the cafeteria! …….