Rosalie is upset about the belly pooch developed on hormone therapy. Paul has the same problem. Hormone-sensitive cancer such as breast and prostate offer further bodily insult with weight gains and increased abdominal girth. Prolonged sitting does as well so we are all at risk. Of course I encourage exercise to overcome, but Rosalie pushes back, “My husband won’t let me! He is afraid I will fall” (she is barely 50). He refuses to go with her so she is stuck. “Rosalie, you are not in prison. You need to get out. Take a phone with you, be careful and get moving. Tell your husband ‘doctor’s orders!'”
Too bad that the need for control is so strong, even in relatives. They mean well, want to help, give advice and feel impotent when they witness your suffering. No wonder they are protective. What is critical is to avoid having support manifest into suffocating limits. Anna recovered from a GI cancer two years ago and wants to return to work at a supermarket. She likes the energy and meeting people. “Doc, I am only 70 and I cannot sit in the house alone all day, since the grand kids returned to in person learning”. Unfortunately her daughter isn’t having it. “Mom, I don’t need one more thing to worry about, just stay home. You might catch something out there”. Shut-in seniors are ubiquitous. They should all form a social club.
As we age or come out of the illness battle, every single day is so precious and doing what we love and feeling good about ourselves is imperative for wellness in mind and body. Dementia is a singularly isolating life, and increases with solitude and lack of exercise. Take back your own freedom and while you are at it, give it back to your loved ones. No one is meant to live protected and sheltered.
Do not abdicate your right to freedom. Many around the globe are risking life for it now. Take courage and be brave enough to accept nothing less. This is your life and what I see everyday is how, when it is challenged by any threat, you fight long, hard and fiercely to keep it. Be sure that you are honoring yourself. We live with and often for others, but we each inhabit a sacred space. I encourage you to see yourself from the perspective of autonomy. We don’t get another chance at this. If, in your senior years or after navigating therapy, you are a little lost, just put one foot in front of another in a way that honors your own amazing life. Freedom is now being stolen by a bully in the Ukraine; a virus eroded it for over 2 years. It is time to pay attention and be firm in your own direction. If we learn nothing else this year, it must be that every day of your life is to be cherished. I encourage you to live authentic to your own heart and encourage others to do the same.