Mr. Becker releases his daughter’s hand as she leaves the lobby for therapy. His eyes follow and under the big burly chest I envision the heart torn. His “baby girl”, now in her forties is being brave for him. “No prob Dad I’ll be right back”. she springs toward the radiation unit to treat a rare cancer stealing their peace. Another young man, Brian knows he isn’t to drive but I wonder why he is alone today. “Oh Doc, my step Dad is in the car. He took a leave from work to help me through this. He’s awesome”. Amanda is terrified for her own Dad undergoing therapy for stage four cancer, but he downplays the drama, and always shares wit and wisdom of a senior. His only desire is to protect his daughter this pain. Her mother gone ten years, they are alone in the world… together. What they all have in common is that the bond is exquisite in every single case. Mr. Griffin has a gruff exterior, but I know he is so grateful that his son has traveled to Florida, given up a lucrative career to be his primary caretaker. “Doc, it kills me but I don’t know how I can do this. My ex-wife remarried and lives in Arizona. Makes me sorry I left New Jersey since I am here alone.” Thousands of stories, and amazing, beautiful people, examples of connections at a time of terror and pain.

Relief in the eyes with good news reinforces that many have held their breath for months. It’s never ever about themselves. What magic to have insight into these worlds. Our heartstrings are tugged everyday. My own hand on the broad shoulder, a sign without words necessary. If the discussion is brought forth, they may breakdown and never stop so I don’t test them. I hold the hope and keep the conversation light and informative without tapping into the emotion under the surface. They are grateful. Sometimes they steal a hug behind their child or parent’s back as they travel the hallway. Occasionally they call me later with more questions they were too fearful to ask in front of their loved one.

What wonderful fathers I am blessed to engage. I admire their quiet strength and fortitude. I cherished my own father and now gift his example of unselfish love to others in this space. When you are blessed with a father figure in your life, every experience is enriched. Here in the cancer center, it is so rarely about the cancer, but always about love and connection. A father’s desire to protect teaches us altruism and often we have a chance to return the favor.

Thank you dear fathers. A day set aside for you is never enough. So for all those whose lives you touch, I will offer here our deepest gratitude and our own hearts bursting with love. Happy Father’s Day.