My tears are heavy and my heart is breaking this week. When we lose someone dear, we think about the void. For Shirley, today I will focus on the blessing. There is no loss when a life is lived with love and service to others. God bestowed an angel in our midst and there are many many in your lives as well. As I begin this writing, however, I am immediately distracted. There is a frenetic noise as a young blue jay is tapping to get my attention at the window. His disheveled feathers on his crown perhaps a sign he has been up all night. He is relentless so I stop, smile and appreciate. It gives me a moment for breath ….. perhaps a sign or a message?

Last week the hospital visit made reality clear and hospice a plan. Discussing care with her husband, I learned that he is also from Philly and we had a moment of connection. We discovered that he worked at my father’s service station as a teen and we went to the same church and parish school. We laughed and shared the serendipity with Shirley. Support coming from 1000 miles away.

Another personal experience was two years ago. The quilt of valor ceremony from a patient’s wife took place in my clinic and so Shirley was there to meet my Vietnam veteran husband. His soft gentle words, holding the hands of a gold star mother whose only child received a flag instead. Their connection immediate and spiritual in the space of understanding.

Following a long career in business, what would prompt Shirley to embark on the work of navigating the complexity of care for veterans with cancer? She became an integral blessing to our team. It was dedication of love and devotion, impactful and inspired. Touching and even saving thousands of lives.

Shirley smiled sweetly, humbly and was lifted by knowing that we all prayed together for her and said to thank you. This tribute is to remind us that God places people in our lives and deeper into our hearts whom we have responsibility to cherish. View their presence as deliberate and be grateful for the gift they brought to you.

The blue jay is relentless. I look him in the eyes and say, “Okay, I will send out the message”. Only then did he fly away. I think he trusted me to remind us to be grateful and appreciate. Like Shirley we too can aspire to inspire. While the loss is mourned, the gift is what lives on. Rest in peace Miss Shirley and in the arms of your beloved son now. It has been an honor.