Yay! Back to school! New friends, new activities, clothes, sports, supplies and teachers! Such an exciting time! What? Your teacher is Grandmom or grandpop? Now this is true dystopia. Stepping up to help manage while parents are returning to work and schools are closed or only partly open, has many seniors engaging. For patients, their cancer treatment is secondary to this new responsibility and their own need to succeed. Children must have others in their lives: teachers, coaches, mentor, friends, but for many this year, there is one fulfilling these roles- a family member willing to be brave and accept the challenge. Jacob says, “Sure I wish I could just drop them off somewhere and its tough with a nine year old (who has to teach me the computer) a six year old and a toddler under foot. But I love helping my daughter”. Harvey says, “I thought the cancer treatment was tough. I never learned the new math and now we need a science project this weekend!” Margaret just confesses, “By the end of the day I reach for the wine”.
Our brains grow not during a habit but by doing something new. And this is very new! All of these devoted and generous grandparents may not realize how their faces glow and eyes sparkle detailing the experiences. They forget their own trials and now are on a mission of success for themselves and the children. The oxytocin and immune systems distract the mind and body from disease and feeling worthwhile heals. Surely they have fatigue, but at the end of the day when they ask the child to make a cup of tea, help with the dog or mind the toddler so that they can rest, these grandparents are also teaching self sacrifice and compassion.
If this is what fall looks like for you, ask for help when overwhelmed. If you do not have children to care for, pitch in so a friend can have an afternoon off. Teaching kindness always happens by example and is instilled for life. Whatever hobbies you enjoyed before pale in comparison with opportunity to shape a young mind, so enjoy the “work” and do be grateful for it. If you find yourself back to school, I am giving you an “A+” as you choose to be a blessing to your family.
PS: If the kids haven’t already told you, everything that you need, you can find on line… even science projects! Good luck!