What passes as “news” can only leave us with one conclusion: no matter your wealth, power, business acumen or intelligence, no one is immune to outside forces. President, CEO, prince, icon, there is only so much we can control. Its a fallacy that’s life long: if we get an education we can control our career. If we exercise and eat well we can control our health and perhaps longevity. If we avoid toxins we can avoid cancer and heart disease. If we pay bills we can keep our house. If we don’t drive under the influence we can avoid jail. While there are positive effects of these behaviors, real control a fantasy.
Why the fatalist attitude doc? You are depressing us. My hope is to have you see that the real power is coming from within, not outside forces. Were you in control when you met your spouse, discovered a career you love, met a close friend, raised a husband, I mean child, came upon a place you love to visit, found that you have a hidden talent? No, most of this was serendipity. We read articles and search the web hoping we find just the right cure, a new discovery of magic that erases all woes (or wrinkles). Lets not be ridiculous.Its impossible.
So what’s the message? We only have control over our reactions- to the insult, the pain, the illness, the fun event, the loving gift- all of it. This is actually a great place to be. Instead of ping-ponging around and living a life confused, damaged, fearful or messy, get in the habit of watching your life like a bystander and decide for yourself if you will engage. It’s the reason we started the year with meditation. This practice, even a few minutes per day, helps us with that awareness.
There are decisions we get to make- will I accept treatment, where will I live during therapy, should my husband be in hospice, but decisions are not control. Relieve yourself of the burden and some days just control your breathing while the world tumbles around you. It can be very freeing. We should stop trying to control everyone and everything. Just go ahead and experience the relief of that concept even for just a few minutes. The outcome isn’t ours to decide. Our reaction is.