This week forget about the flu and viruses, political theater, climate and economy, even health and wellness. “Doc, what will occupy my attention? You want me to plan for Valentine’s day but I don’t even have a sweetheart”. But you do indeed so don’t disregard this important holiday. Its more critical to you than the super bowl was. By the way, my Grandfather’s name was Valentine so just maybe I inherited some insight.
Embrace the concept that our own special Valentines are everywhere, you just need awareness. In the cancer center, these life enhancers come in all shapes, sizes, relationships and species. Mr. Levin adopted a senior Labrador from the kennel. His wife recently passed from cancer and all his attention was devoted to her. Mr. Levin didn’t expect to get his own ticket here, with his new diagnosis of prostate cancer. Conversations are filled with this new love of his life, “Lady helps me get up in the morning. I think she is saving my life-just like I did hers”. Another patient, Mark has a significant other, his seven-year-old grandson. Mark’s cancer treatment is never center stage and the drama isn’t his illness. It’s making a life for Manuel whose mother is incarcerated. Last week Linda came to see me about her husband who is choosing hospice over more treatment. “Doc, we are believers and I know Tim will be in heaven with our baby son soon” she sobs. Down the hallway comes Amanda escorting her elderly mother whom she cannot leave alone. “Honey, am I sick?” she says. Amanda shakes her head ‘no’ and eyes tear as she keeps her own stage four cancer to herself so her mother won’t be concerned.
Valentines Day occurs every day with these signs of love and devotion. With awareness you will be so gratified to realize how much you are loved too. Wish others a happy valentine’s day, gift a candy heart, a flower, a hug, a phone call, offer a prayer. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture and your kindness will open hearts to you. Remember those little “kid’s” cards? In my first grade class, we had to write one for all 98 (!) students. I didn’t want to send one to the boys who pulled my hair, yet receiving one from them was precious.
Give love and it will be returned. Be grateful for all the “significant others” in your life. You are a gift to them as well. Cancer and other illnesses are not unique in providing opportunities to demonstrate support, give attention, embrace a friend, restore a friendship, forgive a loved one. Open your heart to appreciate this celebration of love.
Happy Valentines Day. May love, friendship and devotion find you everyday.