Cancer is ubiquitous. I does not discriminate. It is not bigoted, elitist, misogynistic,feminist, political, agnostic, religious, tall, thin, fat or skinny. It is not wealthy or poor, successful or challenged, happy or sad, working or retired, busy or quiet, educated or not. It chooses its victims with supreme equality. To appreciate this, come into the waiting room.

Larry lives intermittently on the street. He is dirty, disheveled with stitches holes in his clothes. I don’t know how long he has been down on his luck, but I suspect it is a lifestyle now. His shoes are duct taped, he drinks his coffee here with lots of cream and sugar probably the only calories for several  hours. I am at the front desk when I witness the interaction.

Millie is 89 years old, with a walker, but in her finery. It is an outing from a very upscale assisted living home. They are scheduled back to back for treatments with radiation and Larry comes early on a city bus. As Millie is called for treatment, Larry stands and assists her with the walker and door. My staff would easily help, but this tender, gentlemanly attention is too sweet to interrupt. Millie smiles into Larry’s eyes and he nods his head. The deference  and courteousness  is almost breathtaking to witness. It is a dance of sorts, going on for weeks while each is under treatment. They are bonded by the cancer diagnosis and these mornings at the center.

It is then I remember that cancer cannot steal kindness, love, gentleness, honor, respect, encouragement, spirit, joy, happiness, tenderness, pride or even a smile. Perhaps Larry comes early not just for the coffee, but also for this interaction. Perhaps he sees his mother in Millie even as they are different races. Perhaps Millie feels like a girl having a man’s attention and deference. Perhaps she realizes this helps Larry’s self-esteem. Perhaps there is more healing in the lobby than I suspect. There is a cancer bond. It is deep, unspoken and very human. it is ubiquitous as well.

When you think about your own path, in what ways have you found support or comfort? Please feel free to share or comment. Joanne